


Are You Strong Enough to Stand (Protecting Both Your Heart and Mine)?

by luckeyygirl



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/F, Greek Mythology - Freeform, Poetry, and it was written as a birthday gift, but she told me I was allowed to post it, but this was inspired by a poem my friend wrote, honestly mostly just fluff, so here we go
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-18
Updated: 2018-04-18
Packaged: 2019-04-24 10:49:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14353932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/luckeyygirl/pseuds/luckeyygirl
Summary: Lexa does not know the word gentle...Clarke does not know the word selfish...Together they manage to teach each other...and a few other people along the way.





	Are You Strong Enough to Stand (Protecting Both Your Heart and Mine)?

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [H&P](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/371499) by C.B.. 



> Alright folks here we go. I know it's been a LONG while since you've seen me post...and I'd like nothing more than to tell you that this is the beginning of a new trend but unfortunately that's not likely. Life continues to get in the way of all the ideas I have floating through my head-both for my ongoing stories and for new ones. This was actually written quite a while ago as a surprise birthday gift for one of my friends. She gave me permission to post it quite a while ago-because it's loosely based off of and contains some of her original poetry-and I've finally gotten around to it. Hope you enjoy this story as much as she did, even half as much honestly because she loved it. Let me know what you think in the comments or drop some kudos! Thanks for reading! Here's hoping that you'll hear again from me soon :) <3

_Lexa does not know the word gentle, but more than anything she wants to learn. Lexa does not know what it is to be soft or delicate or tender, but she wants to learn. Lexa is composed of hard edges and impenetrable walls, callous and rough, wrought out of steel and strengthened by the fire of pain and suffering; she does not deserve the peace she is brought by the warmth of the heart and soul of Arkadia, but she wants to learn._

_Clarke does not know the word selfish, but more than anything she wants to learn. Clarke does not know what it is to be egocentric or indulgent or greedy, but she wants to learn. Clarke is built of crossed lines and bending boughs of trees, sweet and self-sacrificing, stitched together haphazardly and with haste, lest another crisis strike her down; she does not deserve the serenity she is brought by the tenacity of the overlord and protector of Polis, but she wants to learn._

_Lexa is unflappable in the exertion of her power over the clans, stern and unyielding in the face of the staunchest adversity, confident in her belief that she knows and does what is best for her people, consistently overlooking whether or not it is what is best for her. There is no room for self-indulgence in the role of Heda. (Or so Titus would have her believe.)_

_Clarke is immovable in the exertion of her selflessness, stern and unyielding in the face of the staunchest adversity, confident in her belief that the steps she takes will ensure the security and growth of her people, consistently overlooking whether or not it will secure and grow her. There is no room for selfishness in the role of leader of the Sky People. (Or so her mother would have her believe.)_

_This refusal to embrace individuality, indifference towards what a life of service will mean for the people they were always meant to become themselves, is what draws these two leaders into the positions they find themselves in now…_

**“they say he stole her,**

**as if Persephone were only something to be coveted**

**and not a goddess in her own right,**

**as if she were not as feared in their realm as he.”**

 

“She’s been missing for three days Marcus, how can you sit here and tell me to stay calm? She’s my daughter,” Abby spits through gritted teeth.

Fighting off the urge to close his eyes in frustration Marcus raises them to meet the enraged gaze of his Chancellor. “I know Abby…I know she’s your daughter and I know she’s been missing for three days. I also know that Clarke is an adult and she has more than proven herself capable of looking after herself. I would argue that you’re worrying over nothing. We’ve made peace with the Grounders, there’s not a valid reason for this level of concern.”

A slammed door is the only response Marcus gets as Abby storms from the room. Refusing to follow her through the Ark as she goes on another rant about the distinct lack of safety in their peace with the Grounders and her lack of faith in abilities Clarke has showcased on several occasions since she landed on the radiation soaked planet months ago, Marcus pours himself a drink and attempts to lose himself in the mechanical whirring of the Ark.

“Raven I-,” Abby starts and stops at the scene she walks into in the workshop. Raven is buried half underneath what seems to be a death trap of metal, sparks flying out from beneath it. She casts her gaze around the room as she waits for the mechanic to finish what she’s working on. There seems to be one corner of the room dedicated to forging weaponry, not the firearms so many Arkadians rely on, but swords and daggers of all shapes and sizes litter the table and floor surrounding the area. “Oh my god they’ve converted you too,” Abby cries as Raven slides out from under the vehicle she was working on.

“Yeah Kane warned me that we’d likely end up having a conversation like this. Listen Doc, I don’t know where Clarke is, I don’t know what happened, and I know that you have less trust for the Grounders than I do, which is saying something all things considered…. But I do know that Clarke led us all through a war with people who seemed hell bent on killing us; she kept us alive down here when we had about a twelve hour turnaround between being teenagers and being adults. She can take care of herself; she has more than proven that. And no one converted me. We don’t have an unlimited supply of guns and ammunition, so we have to make do with what we have…if that means I have to take up blacksmithing, well then here we are. Adaptation Doc, I figured you of all people would understand the importance of that. Clarke will come back when she’s ready, and being that she’s your daughter you should know better than the rest of us that trying to force her to do anything will do nothing but keep her away longer. So rather than get all caught up in your misplaced anger maybe focus on turning Arkadia into what we all know it could be. Neglecting your duties as Chancellor won’t bring her back, but it will bring us untold struggles.”

“The Grounders are changing all of you. That Lexa probably stole Clarke from right under our noses and none of you care enough to even be upset,” Abby argues.

Raven’s eyes are full of the fire she so carefully builds and stokes to make her weapons.

“Clarke is incapable of being stolen Abby. You didn’t see how amazing she was when she was thrust into a leadership position simply because she was in the wrong place at the wrong time. She didn’t have to lead us, hell she didn’t have to have anything to do with any of us; heaven knows we didn’t make it easy on her. But she did. Because she cares. Because that’s the person that she is. She is the best of us and it seems you’ve forgotten that she is as feared by the Grounders as Lexa is, in part because of the protection Lexa afforded her but in large part due to the fact that she’s killed more of them than the rest of us combined. Clarke is as feared and respected by the Grounders as their leader is; you’d do well to remember that before you start saying things like that. Clarke cannot be stolen, but she gives herself to all of us without hesitation.”

 

 

 

**“they say that he corrupted her,**

**that Hades’ flower wilted under the**

**stench of his death**

**but they forget that Spring is rebirth,**

**that if anyone could be touched by the**

**underworld and flourish,**

**that it would be her.”**

 

“Bellamy you can’t just fight off everyone that disagrees with you. Why is your first response always violence?” Octavia asks. Closing his eyes and tilting his head back Bellamy turns his face towards the sun and draws a deep breath before answering his sister.

“War is all I’ve known O. The constant struggle to stay alive is something I’ve been dealing with since long before we hit the ground. I had to fight with mom to keep her away from the guards. I had to fight with her to keep you. I had to fight everyone on the Ark it seems, just because Mom had more than one kid. We got down here and then we were fighting for our lives, when I spent the majority of mine ensuring that you would get to keep yours.”

Octavia sighs as she reaches for her brother’s hand. “I know that you’ve struggled Bell. I know that you fight and fight and fight, but I’m telling you that there are better answers that bloodletting.” Ripping his hand from Octavia’s grip Bellamy turns and yells his answer deep into the surrounding trees.

“How can there be a better answer? All we’ve done since we landed is fight against the Grounders who were trying to kill us. All I’ve done is try to keep us safe, keep you safe, keep everyone alive. And now you all want me to make nice with the people who spent the first few weeks we spent here trying very hard to kill us. And you! You’re practically one of them now, training to hunt and fight and kill like a Grounder. How can you sit here and tell me I have to learn not to fight when every waking moment you have you spend training to become a warrior yourself? And Clarke! She’s missing, probably off spending time with the leader of the people who fought so hard for our deaths. She’s been corrupted and changed by Lexa and no one besides Abby and I seem to care. Clarke is one of us, and she’s becoming one of them. Soon enough she’ll be as bloodthirsty as the rest of the savages, ruined by the nature of the people she’s become so enraptured with. Isn’t that a bit hypocritical O?”

“I’m training to become a warrior for the next threat that pops up from the Ice Nation, or from someone or something we don’t even know exists yet. We’re not at war anymore Bellamy, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be prepared. And Clarke is more than deserving of some peace and if she so happens to find that peace in Polis while in the company of the commander than who is anyone to stop her? She fought tooth and nail to ensure that as many of us as possible survived a threat that was far larger than anyone could have predicted. She isn’t being corrupted or ruined by anyone Bellamy. It’s a miracle she wasn’t ruined by this war like so many have been. She’s become nothing but stronger and a better leader through all the hardship she’s faced on the ground. If anyone could be touched by the pain and devastation this war has wrought on all of us and become better because of all of it-it’s Clarke. And the difference between you and I is simple. My training doesn’t make me bloodthirsty and it doesn’t make me a hypocrite…it makes me prepared for whatever comes next. I’m not looking to fight every person I come across. I don’t **want** to fight anyone. But you? Everywhere you go you bring war with you. And it needs to stop.”

Octavia hesitates as she walks away.

“You’ll always be my brother Bell, and you’ll always be my hero because you kept me alive, both on the ground and on the Ark. But even I can’t save you from this. Neither can Clarke. Stop creating strife and bloodshed where there should only be peace and prosperity. Warmongering will only succeed in bringing about your death, and however much you might want war, you don’t want that.” With a final shrug she makes her way back to camp, hoping against all hope that her brother will not lose himself in his quest for vengeance.

 

 

 

**“they say that he tricked her,**

**that she did not want to stay.**

**but they forget how the winter drags on,**

**how each year it creeps in sooner,**

**leaving bones aching for a hint of her**

**warmth,**

**and it is not because he will not let her**

**leave**

**it is because**

**she does not want to go.”**

 

 

“Lincoln! We’re supposed to be hunting, have you gone soft since meeting your Sky girl brother?” Anya goads as the man huddles over the animal laid on the ground. “Shof op Onya,” he growls. Going through his pack he removes what he needs and begins tending to the wounded forest dweller. “Just because we must hunt to eat does not mean I will overlook a creature in need of assistance. Necessity does not beget cruelty sis, even you know that.”

Anya huffs out a response. “Of course I do, I just wanted to come out and have a normal hunting trip with my brother. And here you are, in a makeshift triage unit caring for an animal when we are meant to be scouring the woods for our dinner. I see that you haven’t changed since we were children.”

Shrugging Lincoln meets his sister’s gaze and replies, “You were always the better hunter Anya, I have always been much more concerned with healing over harming. Even in times of necessity I struggled with taking life.”

Dropping to her knees next to the healer she covers his hand with her own and asks, “What can I do to help?”

“Honestly not much. You did not embrace this part of our training as I did. I will be here for a while, perhaps you should continue on without me and I’ll join you once I’ve done all I can for this helpless creature.”

“Fair enough. I’ll go back to hunting for tonight’s feast. Try not to spend too long helping your new friend. You’re more vulnerable when you’re lost in your work, and Lexa would never forgive me for allowing your death.”

“Lexa would never forgive you had you not allowed me to care for this animal. You know how partial she always was to raccoons Anya,” Lincoln says around a laugh. Anya grins as she answers him, “Why do you think I did not put up more of a fight against you saving him? Lexa would have my head if she knew we came upon an injured raccoon and did nothing.”

Walking away from Lincoln as he begins assessing the animal’s injuries Anya thinks back to a time when they were much younger and Lexa had just been called upon to lead her people. She struggled with choosing a design for her warpaint until one night Anya had jokingly painted around her eyes in the design that her whiskered friends were known for having. Anya starts laughing as she remembers the look on Lexa’s face the first time she saw her reflection in the looking glass. Remembering fondly how hard she and Lexa both laughed when Anya had shouted…

“Oh hell Lexa you look like a raccoon!” Clarke chokes out through her laughing. The brunette scowls as Clarke doubles over on the couch in her living quarters. “This is no laughing matter Clarke. I am Heda. I am to be feared and respected,” she argues. Clarke wipes the tears from her eyes and responds, “Tell that to your trash panda cosplay Lex!” Once more the blonde erupts into giggles while Lexa’s brow furrows and she tilts her head in confusion.

“Clarke, what is a trash panda? And what is this _kozplei_ you speak of? Is it another term for fighting that I haven’t heard? I find that hard to believe with all the training I had to complete in preparation for my Conclave but I suppose it’s possible.”

“Oh you precious dork. The mighty and fearsome Heda, mightiest rodent in all the lands. Trash panda is a phrase used to describe raccoons, mostly because in the old world they would hunt through trash for scraps and because of the markings around their eyes. And cosplay is an art form from the old world where people would dress like and imitate the behaviors of others, fictitious and realistic. You look like a raccoon because your warpaint is smeared, probably from exertion.”

Lexa closes her mouth as she ponders what Clarke has taught her. “Does that mean you are also a trash panda Skaiprisa? Due to our mutual…exertion…you also have warpaint smudged across your face.”

Lexa’s barely concealed smirk is enough to have Clarke running to the wash basin to remove the kohl from her face. “If you keep looking quite so proud of yourself Lex I’ll be on the first horse back to Arkadia.”

At that Lexa immediately softens, as much as a girl groomed to wield weapons since she could walk can soften. “I was merely having some fun Clarke, I’m sorry if I offended you. This is all still very new to me. Heda does not have many close confidantes, or friends really, I am but a goufa when it comes to matters like this.”

“No Lexa it’s fine. Sometimes I forget that your life has been so different to what anyone would expect it to be. You’re barely a few years older than me but it sometimes seems like you’ve lived lifetimes in the time it’s taken the rest of us to reach eighteen. I have no desire to go back to Arkadia, and nothing you do will change that. Every day I find new reasons to want to stay even more, even if I hate myself for deserting my people.”

Lexa walks towards Clarke and takes her face in her hands. “You have deserted no one Clarke kom Skaikru. You’ve lead your people through a war with the Mountain, through half of a war with my people. You have served them well and deserve to have things for yourself.”

“Just as you deserve to love and be loved. Just as you deserve to have time to just be Lexa, not Heda. Neither of us thinks we deserve these things, but that does not change the fact that we do. We will just have to ensure that we are there to convince each other of the truth of these notions. You are good and strong and are capable of a love that mimics the warmth of a thousand suns and I am so incredibly lucky that even a fraction of that is directed at me.”

“And you are wise and brave and devoted and I feel blessed a thousand times over that you have the notion that I am worthy of any part of you, let alone the greatest pieces that make you you. Your people believe that I have kidnapped you, that I hold you here against your will. If this is how you feel Clarke please know that I do not seek to keep you here if you do not want to be here. Polis can without a doubt be your home but it does not need to be. If you wish to return to your people, to return to Arkadia know that you are free to do as you please. It is true I was raised with a sword in my hand and I wield it as easily as the Reapers wield death, but I am not so heartless as to deny you what you truly wish.”

“My people believe that I have been brought here and kept here against my will. They, mainly my mother and Bellamy, are of the mind that my place is in Arkadia, leading and guiding them. I have done all I can for them, I have seen them through two wars and countless unnecessary arguments amongst themselves. I have given them all the pieces they need to succeed in building a world where they can flourish. The one thing I have not given them is the one small piece of me I kept for myself. The piece that yearns for a deeper belonging, a sense of home that I was never able to find in Arkadia; that is the piece I give to you. Let my people believe whatever they must; let them console themselves with the lie that I stay in Polis because you will not let me go. But you, my love, I need for you to know that I don’t stay in Polis because I feel I cannot leave, I stay in Polis, I stay _with you_ because I do not **want** to go.”

Clarke seals her promise with the softest of kisses against lips parted in surprise. Lexa’s eyes close and she relishes in the peace the likes of which she has not felt since before she was called to be Heda.

 

_Lexa does not know the word gentle, but she is starting to learn. There is no room for self-indulgence in the role of Heda, but for Lexa there is space in her life that deserves to be filled with the love of a girl not bound by duty and she is worthy of that love. (Or so Clarke would have her believe.)_

_Clarke does not know the word selfish, but she is starting to learn. There is no room for selfishness in the role of leader of the Sky People, but for Clarke there is space in her life that deserves to be filled with happiness not born of sacrificing for her people. (Or so Lexa would have her believe.)_

_Together they find their home, not in Arkadia and not in Polis, but in one another._

 


End file.
